Monday, December 18, 2006

A Happy Christmas and Very Merry Hannukah to You

Hello my marshmellow friends!

I hope that you are having a wonderful holiday season! Here are some tips to make things better all around:

1. At the Annual Family Poker Tourney, let your mom win a hand without berating her for limping with AK in the cutoff.

2. Compliment your mom for the lovely holiday meal - tell her the yams were your very favorite and ask her what her secret was.

3. Don't let her see the yams as you sneak them from your plate to your napkin to your purse.

4. Replace your gleeful screams of "SHIP IT!" every time you win a hand at the AFPT , maybe replacing the exclamation with "HO HO HO BITCHES!"

5. Got hard-to-please surly teens on your list? Everybody loves iTunes!

6. Go pick up a clever Trophy for the winner of the AFPT instead of making everyone buy in for $100 - everyone will be more relaxed when they aren't playing for their Holiday Savings. Then you can clean up on side bets!

7. Your mom wants a Spa Gift Certificate.

8. Lookout... your 19 year old nephew read a couple of poker books this year. He is trapping your TPTK with a set.

9. Don't drink too much! Especially since your 19 year old nephew is 420 with the scrumph.

10. Stop overthinking it all. Find one thing to love about as many members of your family as you can and write them down. One day you will look back and be glad you had good thoughts about your family. Or you will have something to rip up and burn in a cleansing bonfire ceremony.


I leave you with this exchange between fh and myself:


[14:03] husband: happy christmas
[14:03] husband: :)
[14:03] factgirl: why thank you Happy Kwanza to you
[14:03] husband: internet purchase complete!
[14:03] factgirl: you just got me something?
[14:03] factgirl: :D
[14:03] husband: hope it gets posted in time
[14:04] husband: if not, you'll just have to trust me
[14:04] factgirl: not a problem - I wont be able to drive it until after the new year anyway
[14:04] husband: how'd you know i got you a broom?

2 comments:

helixx said...

ho ho ho bitches!
i miss you guys.
keep it real on the danzig tip, yo.

Deborah said...

I want to win a prize in poker....instead I lost 4 WHOLE dollars in 15 minutes (that is a lot at 5/10c)-I suck and there is no one to yell at to make me feel better.

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