Congrats to Absynthe

Bravo, Ryan, Bravo.

Well deserved.

factually,
facty

Hardcore Hentai Tentacle Marshmallow Peep Sex

Just the title alone is going to get me more hits on this page than ever. A note to my new visitors who found me with a tentacle sex search: Move along perv. Nothin to see here. A note to the PTA Ladies: DO NOT GOOGLE HENTAI TENTACLE PORN.

Oh yeah...




I almost forgot THIS:






CAN YOU SEE THAT??? NO???







how about THIS:


I did it! I won the 16 guarantee on Full Tilt! that is a payday of $4,037.76.

O
M
G
!


I couldn't have done it without the Luckbox (who transfered some luck to me, thank you), Shane (EYE OF THE TIGER), Penner, Poker Princess, Texas April, the whole crew at Full Tilt Poker, and my handsome husband fhwrdh.

Y'all rock and that is a FACT.

Coffee is the Most Important Meal of the Day

This morning I woke up and our house had no coffee. So I went to the market, got the coffee and decided to get the family a little treat. I got fhwrdh a fritter and the kids some doughnuts. I went to the checkout.

Checker: How many doughuts do you have here?
Facty: Eight.
Checker: Do you want me to charge you for twelve?
Facty: I only have eight...
Checker: But you could go back and get some more.
Facty: I just need eight.
Checker: hoooo kaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy

I thought it was so surreal to have a checker try to up-sell me on pastery until I realized that a dozen doughnuts is cheaper than eight. No mensa tests before coffee please.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Shane Nickerson, I can't wait to see a pretty pic on your blog. Bunny ears are acceptable.

BETTER Than Marshmallow Peep Sex

Full Tilt Poker 16k Guarantee Tournament...
6th place...
$760...

sooo tired....

more tomorrow...

factually,
facty

Marshmallow Peep Sex

If you are looking for lewd pics of Marshmallow Peeps I'm sorry to disappoint, but I took a poll and 10 out of 10 pervy bloggers agreed that more people would read my post if I titled it Marshmallow Peep Sex.

What I really want to talk about is what Poker Princess has dubbed The F Factor. Its like M or Q but is named after me and wont help you win a tourney.

The F factor has two parts: the Big Tourney Fund and the $10 Reward.

First, you need to commit to playing in a Big Tourney (I will be playing in the controversial Ladies Event at the WSOP 7/9/2006). Every day the first dollar of your winnings goes into your Big Tourney Fund. In a year you will have 1/3 of a buy in!

Second is the $10 Reward. On Full Tilt are these awesome $6+.60 games where the top 4 get a $26 token. These games are as soft as Marshmallow Peep Sex. Anyhoo, the goal is to get tokens but keep building your bankroll. So the rule is: Grind out $10. once you get to 10, you give yourself the reward of a token tourney.

Adjust all this to your limits and you have suddenly become a disciplined bankroll manager. Thank me later!

PS I don't know if you have noticed but I never post poker advice here. I'm not that good at poker. You know who is really good at poker? Harrington. But I was talking about my F Factor system and some other nice bloggers said I should post it. If it really does help you in any way let me know. And Please do not have sex with peeps. The Smoking Gun always gets those crazy ER stories.

WOOO!

Yesterday afternoon some of the bloggers were feeling like doing a little $10+1 MTT on Stars. Its a little above my bankroll but I joined in just for fun (and more tournament experience).

And guess what bitches?

I had my very best MTT tournament finish EVER! My previous best was a 4th place in a $1+.50 that only made me 45 bucks. This time I finished 3rd and made...

get ready....

$674!!! That's right!

what's more is that I had more fun doing it than you would believe, Thanks to the finest flock of railbirds in the bloggyverse. There was Heather and April and Shelly and Alan and Scott and Xennor! Some people who were there but went to bed (we didn't finish til 1am Pacific) Were Mourn (remind me where your blog is and I'll link ya up!) and Texas April. Also you should know I was trying to channel Joe Speaker by being patient, nice and ruthless.

After I won I woke up fhwrdh to tell him the good news - I think he is finally getting over the fight or flight reflex of me waking him up about poker. :)

Thank you all so much for hanging with me and your great final table advice. You guys are teh RAWK~

I idi it!

The above title of this post is what I typo'd in the chat of the .50/1 blogger ring game after getting back to my buyin before tooloftheman did. Hi Marty!

That game was super fun. There was April and Maigrey and Shelly and Pauly and He1lixx and Penner and Drizz and Marty and some very surprised regular players. good times.

------------

Nothing starts your New Years Resolution Diet better than a nasty stomach flu. That's what I had and my kids too but fhwrdh never got it. That is because he is the devil.

------------

I am still working on the final installment of my Las vegas trip report. I want it to be perfect for you so hang tight people.

Funniest thing on SNL Since More Cowbell

Its The Chronic WHAT? cles of Narnia!

Trip Report: WPBT Las Vegas Part 3

Recap: We found Bill Rini without the help of CSI, Gay cowboys ran amok, and Turns out J6 isn't such a bad hand against KQ.


Chapter Six: The MGM Grand: a fun place to meet friends, get drunk, play poker and extort money from all your new aquaintences.

I was lucky enough to be on a mission that put me in the path of 4/5 of the attending bloggers: collecting for BR's suprise. I was so happy to meet every single one of you and you were all so generous! Before we left for Vegas, the blogger pledges covered $280 of the $300 Gift Certificate. I knew there would be people who wanted to contribute but hadn't replied to the
email so I bought $60 worth of iTunes and Barnes and Noble Gift Certificates for BR to keep or
hand out to his helpers as he wished. Once all the cash was counted it came to $352. Nice work
Bloggers! Only one blogger who pledged didn't follow through (for $2 - no big deal!). That is
amazing! Thanks to each and every one of you.

fhwrdh and I separated almost immediately - he getting his name on the table list and me heading off with that other Poker Widow, Mrs. HDouble. We scrambled to the bar and ordered lemon drop martinis pretended we were in Sex and the City (the drinking fabulous drinks part, not the screwing every guy who gave us a wink part).

We drank our drinks and smoked a clandestine cig as man after man tried to put the moves on us, but we would have none of it.

"Excuse me, do you have the time?"
"Sorry, we are busy tonight."
"Excuse me, can I borrow your lighter?"
"Heh, nice try buddy."
"Can I clear these empties away for you ladies?"
*splash* "Get away from us hot ladies you pervert!"

Finally, it was time to play poker. I put my name on the list and went to bother as many other
bloggers as I could until my table was ready for me.

Suddenly, my table was ready. I bought some chips and went to go teach some 2/4 players who the queen bee is. (its me)

I sat down and there was friendliness beaming across the table from a nicely groomed player with many many many chips. "Hi!" He chirped "I'm Mean Gene." People, thank goodness I wasn't drinking a glass of milk because it would have shot out my nose at velocities unseen since Mr Remmington invented the repeating Milk Cannon just before WW1. Sorry to wreck your table image Meanie but you are about as nice a gentleman as I've ever met.

So we commence to playing poker and I enjoyed chatting with Gene, the guest of a blogger next to me, the nice dealers and the other players. Soon, I was down about 20 bucks. I took stock and
realized that the way I was playing was not right and something needed to change. I looked around the table and took a quick inventory. blogger, blogger guest, tight weak, Mean Gene, tight aggressive playing only top 10 hands, loose passive, loose passive, calling station, tight weak, and one other guy. hmmm... I know! I'll go keeerazy!

So I start daring people to live straddle. After explaining the live straddle, I finally got someone to try it. I peeked at my hole cards - 72o and you know what that means bitches...RERAISE. The flop is 72Q. and I bet it to the river and flip em over yelling HAMMERRRR! To the joy of only two other people at the table. (that would be Mean Gene and the other blogger guest guy). From then on the table paid and paid and paid. I ended up +60 bucks!

Plus I made a new pal in Gene. He is DEFINITELY invited to my tea party. Fhwrdh was done with he poker before I was so he got to be witness to the ro sham bo and the drinking drunkeness, Gene and I joined the gang a little later for the standing around portion of the evening. It was great! Then I went back to the IP and to bed.


Next Up: The WPBT Winter Classic

Trip Report: WPBT Las Vegas First Blood Part 2

Recap: Mr and Mrs fhwrdh have just checked in to the regal Imperial Palace and headed downstairs to eat and find bloggers.


Chapter Three: The Legend of Bill Rini

We dropped our bags and ran into Ephro who gave us the lowdown on everyone's location. Hank was at the sportsbook, sophia asleep, Speaker at the tourney, Geek asleep, Bill Rini... wellllll...

"What Ephro? What is it?"

"We're not sure where Bill is now. It was ahhh... quite a night."

"WTF!?!?!?!"

"It was quite a night."

All we could get out of him was that Bill played Blackjack at the IP. To this day I'm not sure what the night held for our Bill, but I am hoping it included plenty of the monkey juice and a cute dealertainer! Somehow though, I think it included a firm hand on his shoulder by a bouncertainer and a pass-out onto one of the IP's hopefully Ebola free beds.

For the next 8 hours or so the question was "where's Bill Rini?" and the legend grew and grew. "He skipped town!", "I heard he got hitched to a dealertainer!", "Word is, he struck gold!", "That Bill Rini, I once saw him rope a steer and eat a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich at the same time!". When he finally showed up, I had to stop spreading my wonderful lies.


Chapter Four: Yeeeee HAW! -or- How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Rodeo

Something was fishy in V-town. From the moment we got off the plane there was something.... At first we couldn't put out fingers on it. Then we saw a gentleman with a cowboy hat, western-style button down shirt, big belt buckle and bowed legs come out of the restroom. Then another one followed him out. Thats when I remembered... Brokeback Mountain premiered this week!

I was just about to tell fhwrdh and point out the gay cowboys to him when all of a sudden I saw about 16 more gay cowboys! Turns out the rodeo was in town. Also I'm not really sure if all the cowboys were gay (so save your comments for another blog you dumb cowboys).

PS Cowboys do not like Brokeback Mountain jokes. Thank me for that one later when a cowboy is not kicking your ass.

PPS I haven't stopped worrying at this point in the trip. Still scared.

PPPS I don't love the rodeo. not one bit.


Chapter Five: Imperial Poker at the Imperial Palace

So we mosey on down to the IP Poker Room - wait, I mean we mosey on down, then across the smokey casino, then up, then across to the IP Poker Room. Franklin buys in to the nl game and I buy in to the 3/6 limit - and thats when all the trouble started.

You see, at home, I like to play 2 tables, solve a sudoku, rock a bejeweled, and help the kids with their homework. So playing at a single live table is boring as all get-out. So I enjoy talking. I can talk all day long - did I mention one of my first jobs out of high school was Tour Guide at Universal Studios?

So I'm talking and playing and on the BB (thats Big Blind PTA Ladies) and I peek down at a Jack 5 which is as good a hand as any on the BB with 5 limpers. So I tap and out comes the flop 55x (that means I have trips bitches!) So I check and call the moderate bet as do 3 others. The next card is something that matches one of the suits on the board so I have to be a teensy bit concerned about a flush. I check and raise (that is a super aggressive move PTA ladies) and watch as two limpers fold but still one caller hangs on. I decide to give my cards a peek just to double check and....

AW SNAP! I have J6! I have no hand at all! This SUCKS!!

So the river comes and its a 6. The only chance I have to win is to place a bet so I do and...

the nice Texan fella next to me calls. DAYUM!

I flip over my J6 and the fella flips KQ suited. I had a pair of sixes to his King high. My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I scooped the chips and began stacking them. It was then I noticed that the table had grown very quiet.

"Nice river."

"Thanks!" (crickets...chirp chirp )

"You played your J6 pretty strong there."

"Yep I sure did!" (chirp chirp )

"I folded a straight draw that hit with the 6."

"Wow! Sorry. I hate when that happens!" (chirp)

The next few hands were played in total silence. I tightened up and was called down with KK and AQ that both held up and hit. The cowboys started getting sick of losing and left. All that were left were me, a nice blogger guest, and the desperate Texan so I packed up my chips and took off. Sorry bitches!


Up Next: The MGM: Myth or Real Deal?

Trip Report: WPBT Las Vegas

Prologue: In which facty wins a spot, then loses sleep.

Here is my deep dark secret: after I won the seat at the Desert Shootout a few weeks ago, first I was happy, but once the adrenalin wore off, I was scared. I was really worried about making some stupid play and looking like a dork. Or winning and have people say I got lucky and didn't deserve it. Or laughing at the table and having a piece of spit fly out of my mouth and land on someone. Or knocking over someone's beer. That is a lot of stress on a girl!

So I didn't sleep so much before the trip.

Oh yeah also I'm a teensy bit afraid of flying.


Chapter One: Hard Lessons at The Hard Rock (ok, it was at the Aladdin, but I'm alliterating)

We walked in to the Aladdin poker room and fhwrdh started pointing, "GRob, Speaker, Badblood, BG," etc. I thought he may be having a temporal lobe seizure and looked for something to stick in his mouth, but suddenly remembered that those were all blogger names and he was trying to point them out to me. Some of the bloggers called to him and encouraged him to enter the $100 NL tourney that was about to start. He did and I bought in to the 3-6 limit game.

I sat down next to a nice older lady who was sipping a nice ladylike iced tea. The rest of the table was filled with mostly cranky men, one loose Asian guy and two college kids at the end who were narrating every hand. Nice old lady next to me told us about her kids, how great the Aladdin buffet was, and how nice the weather was. She also took everyone's money and became my new poker hero.

Suddenly, I felt something brush my back and turned to see fhwrdh with a bitter pissed look on his face. He was out. It was the fhwrdh: Money in with the best hand, watch the suckout, head to the bar. I stayed in for one more round and cut my losses since everyone was still getting 0\/\/n3d by Grandma.


Chapter Two: The Imperial Palace

One of my many hobbies is playing text adventure games - like Zork. The Imperial Palace won my heart because it was just like one of those games:

You are at the Imperial Palace front driveway. There is a set of doors before you, some taped off with caution tape. You must enter them in the right combination. There is a sign here.

read sign

RAMP IS FOR EMPLOYEES ONLY. NO WHEELCHAIRS ON RAMP.

enter left door
enter right door
enter middle door

You are in the CASINO. It is smokey here. In the distance you can hear the dinging of slot machines and the random shouts of winners and losers. The front desk is to your left. A DEALERTAINER winks at you.

check in

You have checked in to the HOTEL. The elevator takes you to your floor. Your room key reads 11148.

exit elevator

You are in a maze of Asian influenced doorways, all alike.
n
You are in a maze of Asian influenced doorways, all alike.
w
You are in a maze of Asian influenced doorways, all alike.
w
You are in a maze of Asian influenced doorways, all alike.
n
You are in a maze of Asian influenced doorways, all alike.
e
You are in a maze of Asian influenced doorways, all alike.
s
You are in a maze of Asian influenced doorways, all alike.

You get the idea. Luckily I am really good at text adventures. We found our room, dropped our bags, checked the sheets for cleanliness, and scrammed to find friends.

Coming soon: Chapter 3: The Legend of Bill Rini

Happy World AIDS Day!

Well there was a little bit of happy news this World AIDS Day, people who are diagnosed HIV+ are living longer more normal lives than ever before. I learned that on NPR today in the car. I was all driving and half listening and half wondering when the new Trader Joes is opening in my neighborhood and all of a sudden I heard the NPR lady say a name I knew. It was my friend who is an epidemiologist and has been studying the AIDS epidemic in Los Angeles for the past several years. She sounded really smart and cool. So I turned up the radio.

She was talking about gay Hispanic men and crystal meth use.

"Mommy, what's gay sex?"

Shit.

I quickly turned to JACK FM. 867-530niyine... and cranked it up. "What was that honey?"

Soon the children had forgotten all about gay sex and were rocking out to freeform radio oldies.

Thank you Tommy Tutone.

Black Friday

Everyone who has a house needs to clean it now and then, and by house I mean place to live. Sure, Donald Trump doesn't have to take his dishes to the kitchen after dinner, but you think Milania doesn't insist he be a sweetie and wipe the seatie? Bitch, please!

Ok so I, as a mother of two children often have to clean my house. One time I tried to get the children to help but they acted like dirty little urchin-extras from the chorus of "Oliver!". No lie. They even did a medley of "Food, Glorious Food" until I begged for mercy.

Anyway...

I was cleaning my house today. First I did the bathrooms and burned all my nosehairs out with bleach fumes (beauty tip: nosehair getting unruly? try bleach fumes! and I'm talking to you, Andy Rooney). Then I played a $1 MTT (That's Multi-Table Tournament for you PTA Ladies) and I finished 65th - thanks AQ (Dear AQ, I am starting to rethink our relationship. I feel I can't trust you to deliver the sweet chips of my opponents as I once thought you could. I will still play you aggressively, but will be mindful that you can be quite a bitch. love, facty)

Where was I? Oh yes...

After the bleach burns and the MTT, I decided to vacuum the upstairs. So I did. I vacuumed and vacuumed and vacuumed. Then I took the wand and started to vacuum the dust bunnies under the bed. I had to lay down on the floor so I could see what I was vacuuming and something caught my eye. Under the bed just barely out of my reach was some paper... a book? a magazine? hmmm I scooted and reached with the wand as far as I could.... a little closer...a little closer...

SCHROOCHEEEEEE

suddenly my head was yanked brutally back and the vacuum made a sound between a whine and an evil cackle as my hair wrapped around its unforgiving roller. I yelped in pain and had to feel my way around to the side of the possessed machine to find the on/off switch - thank goodness it wasn't up by the handle or I'd be a goner. I flipped the switch and the vacuum of hell moaned and ceased. But my hair was still stuck. I gently worked my hair out of the groaning maw and sat up to survey the damage. Head: still there. Hair: Mostly still there. Vacuum: laughing at me with a huge clump of my red hair in its teeth. The overworked motor had stunk up the room and as I kicked the vacuum I vowed never to let this happen again.

So I'm gettin a maid y'all. All professional poker players should have maids.

Epilogue: The paper under the bed was an old Linux Journal. And that is how Linus Torvalds and my geek husband ruined my hair.

the end

Reprezent

Oh. My. God. Y'all.

I totally won a spot in the Shootout in the Desert Tournament! I will be reprezenting the ladies (or Dames if you prefer) of the Blogging Community as well as the Poker Widow Community plus also the PTA. I am honored.

When I won the tourney, I was so excited I ran into the bedroom where my poor poor fhwrdh was sleeping after working mas mucho overtime. I wiggled his shoulder to wake him. "I won!" I whisper-squealed.

"Whaaaaaaa?" he groaned. He was suddenly severely awake

"I won! I won the whole thing!" The look of sweet relief on his face reminded me that the last time I had woken him from an overtime nap was to tell him I was pregnant.

---

So for the PTA Ladies here's the rundown: I am going to Las Vegas in December with my husband, fhwrdh. I'm going to play in the WPBT (That's World Poker Blogger's Tournament) Winter Classic with about 100 other bloggers. I plan to bust out early and have a mojito, then I will be playing in a winner-take-all 6 person (5 boys and me) tourney. I plan to bust outa that early too. Then I will hang out with Mrs. Hdouble and have more mojitos. Maybe go to the spa for a massage.

---

The tournament was great. I feel like I played my very best game. My goal was just to have fun because so many good poker people were playing, I really didn't expect to get very far. Then I chatted and had a lot of fun but I was in the zone. Plus I got AA and KK and AK and AQ and they all held up. Yeah, that didn't hurt.

Anyway - sorry to all the people I busted. And thanks to all who stuck around and sweated me. Especially Ephro!

And the most thanks go to Bill Rini for putting the whole thing together. I'm gonna buy you a beer. or a mojito!

Dear fhwrdh

Dear fhwrdh: An Historical Account

by Ken Burns

PHOTO MONTAGE: family snapshots and memorabilia.

MUSIC: single violin playing "Keep the Homefires Burnin'" (trad.)

VOICE OVER: David McCullough

The software roll-out skirmish of 'ot 5 was in full swing. As engineering battles raged on the front lines, the wives kept the homesteads running and watched for signs that their brave husbands had made it home.

VOICE OVER: Collen Dewhurst

Dear fhwrdh,
I was overjoyed to read the letter you sent - and my heart is gladdened to know that the stockings I knit you fit and matched your uniform.

The children are doing fine. Jellyface has done his best to take on the role of man-of-the-house and has been practicing his farming skills. His ciphering still needs work but I know you will be proud when you come home. Hellcat has been working on her first sampler and darned if her needlework isn't as delicate as Grandma's!

All is returning back to normal after a fire in the barn took one of the she-goats. I have had to cut back on goat cheese hors d'vors but we are all sacrificing in these difficult times.

Well, that is all for now, my love. I must go refill my martini and microwave some hot dogs for the kids.

Your loving wife,
facty

VOICE OVER: David McCullough

fhwrdh was one of the lucky ones who made it home after the fierce battles that raged on the Los Angeles skyline, but only to be tragically devastated when he found his office had been turned into a craft room.

Poker Report: Thanks for the Poker Lesson!

Dealer: factgirl shows a full house, Tens full of Eights
Dealer: tomes275 shows a Royal Flush*
Dealer: tomes275 wins the pot (3,040) with a Royal Flush
Big 'ol Fish: wow, nh
Geo: nothin like a royal
tomey275: ty
Geo: just like real life
D_F: factgirl what were u thinking
factgirl: I had a FULL HOUSE...
Geo: r u serious d_f
D_F: it was easy to see that straight on the board
Geo: twit
Geo: she had a boat
D_F: not sraight flush
Geo: he had a royal
Geo: pay attention
Big 'ol Fish: chances of someone having a royal was very slim

*he played both hole cards (QJ) and rivered the K for the royal.

How will I ever learn to lay down those full houses when there is 3 to the royal flush on the board???

You Gonna Eat That?

So this Halloween my precious precious children went Trick or Treating.

Now you may have read some of my previous writings on the subject of Trick or Treating, but if you haven't and don't have the inclination to investigate further, let me summarize:

I think Trick or Treat is a poor idea. It is contrary to the messages we send to children all year long - don't talk to strangers, don't take candy from strangers, don't extort candy from people with threats of pranks.

As you might imagine, I have some pretty strict rules when it comes to Trick or Treating, all of which I will list for you now:

1. Stay together - this is always rule #1.
2. Only hit up houses with porchlights lit - This is just common courtesy.
3. Only hit up houses in Aunt Bendix's Cul d' Sac - It's a nice family neighborhood.
4. Let Mommy check every piece before you eat it - Not that I really think that people are going to poison anyone, but the school teaches the children all this Halloween Safety so you gotta put on a big show of checking the Hershey's miniatures for razor blades and rat poison.
5. Mommy gets all the Almond Joy - The kids agree because everyone knows Almond Joy, with its coconuty chocolatey nut, is as poisonous to children as the heels of the bread.

So Needless to say I am about to puke Almond Joy. Seriously. It was an Almond Joy frenzy this year. Sure the kids cried when I ended up taking half their stash, but can I help it if the market had a sale on Almond Joy? Or maybe my sister's cul d' sac is full of procrastinators. Come to think of it my sister is late to everything....

No matter. What counts now is that I have a stomach ache and the kids are mad at me.

Trick or Treat suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

WPBT Shootout

Howdy Y'all

I am playing in a blogger tournament. And I'm blogging it. This should create a crazy poker blog vortex so if you experience any dry mouth or dizziness, sit down and have a drink.

12:15 So far I'm down about 400 bucks. and sweet Maudie is out .

12:17 Hellcat hates my avatar, The Ugly Flower.

12:20 I'm the shortstack. dang!

12:27 Now I'm in 4th! yay!

12:31 Bill Rini rocks

12:36 Bill Rini tried to double up against me. I am way too smart for that! He thought I had an Ace but really I had nothing. I totally folded!

12:41 fhwrdh brought me pizza

12:48 that pizza was really good. it had eggplant. Easycure is making a comeback! He has more chips than me!

12:53 Easycure took some of my chips. that bastard

12:57 I'm out. Easy took the rest of my chips. He should buy me a drink for being such a crappy poker player. or at least give me a cool license plate link.

This concludes the liveblogging coverage for today - tune in next week for round 2 of the WPBT Shootout!

Factgirl Special Edition Double Post:

Hey factual friends, Its me, Facty! I'm here to make sure you have the best Halloween ever with a double post extravaganza. First, I will tell you what to be for halloween. Then I will give you some important halloween safety tips. That is a lot to cover, so lets get cracking.

What You Should be for Halloween

Guys:

Tom Cruise - Wear a leather jacket and jump over the couch when you arrive anywhere. Be short if possible.

Tom Sizemore - Hit on everyone.

Tom Hanks - get some fake oscars and be nice to everyone.

Tom Mix - mix a store bought dead zombie costume with a singing cowboy costume.

John Gulagher - Self depricate. Be awkward. kick ass.

Thats all I can really think of but that'll get you started.

Gals:

Kate Hudson - wear your hair down and a bohemian dress.

Kate Moss - carry a pic of Johnny Depp and a mirror with a line of sand glued to it.

Kate Winslet - oo this one is good cause you can go titanic or Eternal Sunshine!

Katie Holmes - put a fake coldsore on your top and Bottom lip. Carry a Scientology book and pretend you have morning sickness.

Facty the blogger - talk about how awesome you are all the time. ask people if they read your blog. never shut up about poker. wear a tiara for no reason.



Important Halloween Safety Tips

1. Don't eat Tainted Candy:

-candy corn
-Dr Pepper flavor Jelly Bellys
-Idaho Spud Candy Bars

2. Be careful of strangers and cars and whatnot.

Well, that about does it. Have a great Halloween!

Dear Bill Rini

This one time I was hanging out with my sister and I was all "Hey, you know whats fun? Poker" and she was all "you loser."

And that got me to thinking. What if you could fuse all the fun of poker with another of my favorite pastimes - drinking!

So I got myself right on the internet to send out the word that I had invented the awesomest way to have fun in the world. It was one of the best 40 seconds of my whole life. Turns out the poker bloggers have been drinking and pokering for years.

Well, back to the drawing board I guess.

Love,
Facy

PS Guess what? I am coming to the WPBT Winter Classic
PPS I'm bringing fhwrdh
PPPS I'm leavin the kids with Grandma! (Thanks Mom, you're the nuts!)