Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Trip Report: WPBT Las Vegas First Blood Part 2

Recap: Mr and Mrs fhwrdh have just checked in to the regal Imperial Palace and headed downstairs to eat and find bloggers.

Chapter Three: The Legend of Bill Rini

We dropped our bags and ran into Ephro who gave us the lowdown on everyone's location. Hank was at the sportsbook, sophia asleep, Speaker at the tourney, Geek asleep, Bill Rini... wellllll...

"What Ephro? What is it?"

"We're not sure where Bill is now. It was ahhh... quite a night."


"It was quite a night."

All we could get out of him was that Bill played Blackjack at the IP. To this day I'm not sure what the night held for our Bill, but I am hoping it included plenty of the monkey juice and a cute dealertainer! Somehow though, I think it included a firm hand on his shoulder by a bouncertainer and a pass-out onto one of the IP's hopefully Ebola free beds.

For the next 8 hours or so the question was "where's Bill Rini?" and the legend grew and grew. "He skipped town!", "I heard he got hitched to a dealertainer!", "Word is, he struck gold!", "That Bill Rini, I once saw him rope a steer and eat a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich at the same time!". When he finally showed up, I had to stop spreading my wonderful lies.

Chapter Four: Yeeeee HAW! -or- How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Rodeo

Something was fishy in V-town. From the moment we got off the plane there was something.... At first we couldn't put out fingers on it. Then we saw a gentleman with a cowboy hat, western-style button down shirt, big belt buckle and bowed legs come out of the restroom. Then another one followed him out. Thats when I remembered... Brokeback Mountain premiered this week!

I was just about to tell fhwrdh and point out the gay cowboys to him when all of a sudden I saw about 16 more gay cowboys! Turns out the rodeo was in town. Also I'm not really sure if all the cowboys were gay (so save your comments for another blog you dumb cowboys).

PS Cowboys do not like Brokeback Mountain jokes. Thank me for that one later when a cowboy is not kicking your ass.

PPS I haven't stopped worrying at this point in the trip. Still scared.

PPPS I don't love the rodeo. not one bit.

Chapter Five: Imperial Poker at the Imperial Palace

So we mosey on down to the IP Poker Room - wait, I mean we mosey on down, then across the smokey casino, then up, then across to the IP Poker Room. Franklin buys in to the nl game and I buy in to the 3/6 limit - and thats when all the trouble started.

You see, at home, I like to play 2 tables, solve a sudoku, rock a bejeweled, and help the kids with their homework. So playing at a single live table is boring as all get-out. So I enjoy talking. I can talk all day long - did I mention one of my first jobs out of high school was Tour Guide at Universal Studios?

So I'm talking and playing and on the BB (thats Big Blind PTA Ladies) and I peek down at a Jack 5 which is as good a hand as any on the BB with 5 limpers. So I tap and out comes the flop 55x (that means I have trips bitches!) So I check and call the moderate bet as do 3 others. The next card is something that matches one of the suits on the board so I have to be a teensy bit concerned about a flush. I check and raise (that is a super aggressive move PTA ladies) and watch as two limpers fold but still one caller hangs on. I decide to give my cards a peek just to double check and....

AW SNAP! I have J6! I have no hand at all! This SUCKS!!

So the river comes and its a 6. The only chance I have to win is to place a bet so I do and...

the nice Texan fella next to me calls. DAYUM!

I flip over my J6 and the fella flips KQ suited. I had a pair of sixes to his King high. My eyes nearly popped out of my head as I scooped the chips and began stacking them. It was then I noticed that the table had grown very quiet.

"Nice river."

"Thanks!" (crickets...chirp chirp )

"You played your J6 pretty strong there."

"Yep I sure did!" (chirp chirp )

"I folded a straight draw that hit with the 6."

"Wow! Sorry. I hate when that happens!" (chirp)

The next few hands were played in total silence. I tightened up and was called down with KK and AQ that both held up and hit. The cowboys started getting sick of losing and left. All that were left were me, a nice blogger guest, and the desperate Texan so I packed up my chips and took off. Sorry bitches!

Up Next: The MGM: Myth or Real Deal?


Anonymous said...

Heheeee. "Sorry bitches."

StudioGlyphic said...

Nice play. At moments like these you realize your cards don't matter (if it weren't for the pesky King high river caller--move up in limits!).

Joe Speaker said...

Next time say, "I was on a pretty strong pair draw there."

If they weren't tilted yet, they will be then.

Tim said...

I barely understand texas hold'em but I gotta say, you sure know how to tell a story.


Mr. Parx said...

I just found your blog (because I can't get enough of WPBT trip reports). You're hee-larious. Keep 'em coming, please.

Mr. Parx

Maigrey said...

I like to say "heyyyy i had OUUUUTS"!

Nice to meetcha :)

Ignatious said...

PS Cowboys do not like Brokeback Mountain jokes

freaking hilarious. tis funny cause it's true.

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