Monday, November 07, 2005

You Gonna Eat That?

So this Halloween my precious precious children went Trick or Treating.

Now you may have read some of my previous writings on the subject of Trick or Treating, but if you haven't and don't have the inclination to investigate further, let me summarize:

I think Trick or Treat is a poor idea. It is contrary to the messages we send to children all year long - don't talk to strangers, don't take candy from strangers, don't extort candy from people with threats of pranks.

As you might imagine, I have some pretty strict rules when it comes to Trick or Treating, all of which I will list for you now:

1. Stay together - this is always rule #1.
2. Only hit up houses with porchlights lit - This is just common courtesy.
3. Only hit up houses in Aunt Bendix's Cul d' Sac - It's a nice family neighborhood.
4. Let Mommy check every piece before you eat it - Not that I really think that people are going to poison anyone, but the school teaches the children all this Halloween Safety so you gotta put on a big show of checking the Hershey's miniatures for razor blades and rat poison.
5. Mommy gets all the Almond Joy - The kids agree because everyone knows Almond Joy, with its coconuty chocolatey nut, is as poisonous to children as the heels of the bread.

So Needless to say I am about to puke Almond Joy. Seriously. It was an Almond Joy frenzy this year. Sure the kids cried when I ended up taking half their stash, but can I help it if the market had a sale on Almond Joy? Or maybe my sister's cul d' sac is full of procrastinators. Come to think of it my sister is late to everything....

No matter. What counts now is that I have a stomach ache and the kids are mad at me.

Trick or Treat suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.
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